Marriage was never meant to be a battleground. It was designed to be a garden — fertile with faith, joy, intimacy, and purpose. But in a world full of pressures, conflicting schedules, past pain, and patched-together expectations, many couples find themselves on defense, not on mission. We’re guarding hearts from hurt, not giving them fully in trust. We’re surviving marriage, not thriving in it.
That’s why conversations like this and moments of community-centered equipping like our recent Marriage Equip night are so important. Because when the sacred union of marriage is under cultural fire, we don’t fight it with fear — we fortify it with faith.
Vulnerability: The Bridge to Intimacy
In the powerful conversation between Dyl, Gill, and Andre, we’re reminded that vulnerability isn’t a weakness — it’s the gateway to depth. Vulnerability is what makes love real, not rehearsed. It says, “I trust you enough to show you the parts of me that aren’t polished.” But vulnerability requires one essential ingredient: safety.
Without the safety of warm words, gentle pauses, and humble hearts, intimacy turns into a tightrope walk. But where there’s trust, there’s tenderness. And where there’s tenderness, marriages blossom.
Jesus at the Center: The True North of Relationship
“The word ‘Jesus’ isn’t enough. It’s life with Jesus.”
Jesus at the center isn’t a slogan — it’s a strategy for longevity.
We don’t just need help managing conflict. We need heaven’s pattern for loving well. The triangle analogy shows that when each spouse is climbing toward Christ, they’re naturally drawing closer to one another. Marriage becomes less about fixing each other and more about chasing the One who forms us both in His image.
Coaching Isn’t Weakness — It’s Wisdom
One of the most liberating revelations from the conversation was the importance of inviting others into your process. A counselor, friend, or mentor isn’t a sign your marriage is failing — it’s proof you’re still building. Just like a mountain guide helps you reach the summit in swirling fog, godly counsel helps you navigate the terrain of the heart when visibility is low.
Don’t underestimate the spiritual power of intentional community. Whether through a marriage equip night, small groups, or authentic friendships, God sends companionship as His comfort and strategy.
Strengths-Based Marriage: We’re Better When We Champion, Not Compete
Many couples carry frustration not because they married the wrong person, but because they misunderstand how differently their spouse is wired. Andre shared how understanding his wife’s top strength (Woo — winning others over) healed a source of tension. Instead of resisting her social energy, he began to release her into it — and protect his own rhythm in the process.
Gill spoke tenderly about how recognizing her husband’s maximizer strength added value to their creative ideas, not chaos. “I used to think he was trying to take over. Now I let him run with it — and it comes back to bless me, too.”
This is the way of honor: knowing that the strength in your spouse isn’t a threat to your peace but a gift to your future.
Let’s Go Higher
Whether your marriage feels like it’s hanging by a thread or flourishing like never before, God has more for you. Not more pressure. More purpose. Not more demands. More destiny. With Jesus as the plumb line, practical tools in hand, community alongside — you have everything you need to move forward in faith, unity, and joy.
Remember, no marriage has it all together. But every marriage surrendered to Christ can go higher together.
You’re not alone. You’re not disqualified. And you’re not finished. The summit awaits — and His grace is enough for the climb.
Discussion Questions:
- What spoke most deeply to you from this conversation around vulnerability, safety, and intimacy?
- In what ways have you experienced difficulty creating a “safe space” in your marriage? What would help change that?
- How do you see Jesus functionally at the “center” of your relationship — not just in word, but in practice?
- Do you and your spouse know each other’s strengths? If so, in what ways do you champion them? If not, where could you start?
- What role does pride play in how we avoid hard conversations? How can humility be our pathway to healing?
- Have you ever benefitted from a coach, counselor, or marriage mentor? If not, would you be willing to?
- What patterns have you picked up from culture regarding marriage that don’t align with God’s design?
- What does it mean to you to “climb the summit” of your marriage? What’s holding you back?
- Is there an area in your marriage currently that might need a “timeout” moment? What could that practically look like?
- What small step can you take this week to increase affection, communication, or connection in your marriage?
Activation:
Faith – Cultivating Intimacy with God
Marriage is more than a covenant between two people — it’s a reflection of God’s covenant love for His church. When we invite Christ into the core of our communication, conflict, and calling, we begin to experience His design for marriage in its fullness.
This Week: Spend one day this week praying together as a couple. It doesn’t need to be long. Just one sincere moment inviting Jesus into your lives and listening for His voice.
Family – Strengthen Your Generational Legacy
The strength of a marriage often shapes the story of the next generation. Children and grandchildren are watching. They’re learning how to love by seeing how love is lived out. The conversations, the climbing — all of it counts.
This Week: Share a family meal where you intentionally talk about one memory that reflects “togetherness” or “breakthrough” in your marriage — no matter how small.
Future – Reclaiming Purpose Through Partnership
Marriage isn’t just personal — it’s prophetic. It’s a soil for calling, a structure for fruitfulness, and a signal to a watching world of what covenant partnership really is. Don’t just aim for survival. Ask God how your union can serve His Kingdom purpose.
This Week: Ask your spouse, “What dreams do you still carry in your heart?” and write down one new way to support it. Then declare together: “God, we’re not just partners in survival. We are pioneers in purpose. Lead us forward, together.”
THE LINC COLLECTIVE 
Leave a comment